Now I will talk about how
I've experience Dyspraxia.
I do find I get easily
distracted and wonder whether it's Dyspraxia and/or ADHD. At the
same time I can be so intently focused.
I don't have dyslexia
infact I seem to have a talent for writing, language and poetry. I
am a poet and writer who has been praised for my way with words. It
feels like what I'm 'meant to do'. One of the times in my life when
I feel most free, most alive, most capable, most expressive, is when
I'm writing or read aloud something I've wrote. My only difficult in
terms of writing seems to be grammar possibly due to sequencing.
I do however struggle very
much with numbers. It's very clear I have Dyscalculia. I have
problems with even some basic maths (though it's got better as time's
went on) and I find it really embarrassing. I'm not good at
measurement. I have never been able to wrap my head around analog
clocks so prefer digital time. I'm terrible with money unless it's
round sums( again, getting better) . All of this is strange because
I'm very good at budgeting. This problem above all else really makes
me feel incompetent considering how important it is in the modern
I have a bad short term
memory but an excellent long term memory. I can remember things
about Existentialism or some philosophical theory I read only once
the other day or increasingly, the face of someone I saw just once
at a gathering I attended but can forget where I've put socks or
have problems remembering instructions someone just told me
especially if they are sequential.
I have difficulties with
small fine motor skills, have problems of rhythm to do with dancing
or drumming or playing a musical instrument.
My dyspraxia seems to be
worse when I'm exhausted or ill. I've seen me be so physically
exhausted that I've started tripping over just walking or going down
stairs. Or I've been so exhausted I've lifted something and
instantly dropped it or even couldn't lift it.
I think due to my lack of
confidence in physical activities I tend to avoid them. when I do
them, I feel like I'm bad at them only further discouraging me and
leaving me feeling incredibly uncomfortable and inferior.
I've never much liked sports
since they make me feel so incapable and tends to be very macho and
competitive. I've never really enjoyed sport enough to want to watch
it, instead I've more enjoyed doing it. I've enjoyed playing
basketball or hockey sometimes. I like defence more than attack.
I prefer exercise like
walking which is more spontaneous, without rules and limits set upon
it. I did a lot of walking with my dad when I was younger so it's
become ingrained into me. There's little that's as pleasurable as a
walk in the countryside or a Derive( as it's called in French)
around the City (I'm lucky enough to have the option of both) . The
sights you see, the smells, the experiences, the human bustle in the
city. I find it inspiring. I guess you could call me a Flaneur. I
could write an entire essay on walking( and probably should consider
My home ground, my niche is
theory and systems of thought. Since High School, I've felt more
drawn to the natural and social sciences.I am one of these
Dyspraxics who has a gift for theory.
I've always been a very
reflective person which feeds into my role as writer, as poet and as
someone who enjoys philosophy. My discovery of philosophy only has
increased my interest in ways of thinking and further honed my
theoretical skills and knowledge. Philosophy has been something
obsession for me over the years.
The holistic thinking
Dyspraxics are said to be common for is certainly present in me-
whether that's due to dyspraxia or not, I don't know. It has led to
my interest in Intersectionality, Dialectics and comprehensive ways
of thinking. Along with that, I have an interest in almost
everything there is. I am inclined to be as syncretic and diverse as
possible in everything. My mind just works in that way. My dyspraxia
means I'm hindered in linear thinking- I have difficulties planning
or doing sequential tasks which is also expressed in writing plots
for fiction- while I have a great proficiency for non-linear
thinking. My mind quickly makes connections, associations, senses
implications and entailment. It's one of my persistent interests and
I have been praised on it often.
It's downside is that I have
a grasshopper mind that jumps around things and I have problems with
being easily distracted and procrastination. Procrastination is
intensified by my low self esteem issues which mean I have a strong
fear of failure though I've practically transcended that now.
My philosophic mind and
reflectiveness has combined along with my experiences to make me a
(hopefully) sensitive, thoughtful, deep, sceptical, compassionate,
kind, inclusive, tolerant, open minded person.
Dyspraxia has shaped my life
but it is not the end of the story for me. It's not all there is to
me. Look past the curtain to where the light comes from. I am a
Rhizome not a circle. Treat me that way. Come and understand me. I'm
an open book. Come and take a look!